Neighborhood Decoration Arms Race Enters Its Third Month; HOA Deploys Night-Vision Goggles

WILLOW CREEK — What began in August as a single tasteful pumpkin on the Hendersons’ porch has escalated into what the Willow Creek Homeowners Association is officially calling “a situation,” with dueling households now deploying professional lighting rigs, animatronic witches, and — as of Tuesday — night-vision goggles.

The arms race ignited when the Hendersons installed a 12-foot skeleton. Within 48 hours, the Parkers across the street answered with a 15-foot skeleton posed “menacingly,” according to the HOA incident report, “toward the Hendersons’ house specifically.” The Hendersons retaliated with a synchronized light show set to a 14-minute medley of Halloween sound effects. The Parkers countered by hiring a fog machine the size of a refrigerator.

“We have rules about fence height. We have rules about mailbox fonts. We did not think we needed rules about skeleton height,” said HOA president Carol Dempsey, who confirmed the board has authorized the purchase of two pairs of night-vision goggles “for enforcement purposes.” “We need to see what they’re doing at 2 a.m. The 2 a.m. activity is where the real escalation happens.”

The goggles were deployed for the first time Monday night, when enforcement officer Gary Platt observed the Hendersons’ teenage son “installing something with wires” at 1:47 a.m. The “something” turned out to be a motion-activated cackling witch that, per the incident report, “cackles at a volume audible in three (3) zip codes.”

Other residents are taking sides. The Nguyens, neutral since September, broke their silence by installing a tasteful cornucopia and a sign reading “WE ARE NOT PARTICIPATING.” The sign is 8 feet tall and internally lit. “It’s a protest sign,” explained Mrs. Nguyen. “A protest sign that happens to be visible from the highway.”

The HOA has called an emergency meeting for Thursday to consider Decoration Disarmament Measures, including a proposed 10-foot skeleton cap, a ban on “projected imagery exceeding the size of the home itself,” and a mandatory 48-hour cooling-off period between installations. The Parkers have already retained a lawyer.

“This is about pride,” said Mr. Parker, standing in the green glow of his own 9,000-lumen display. “And property values. Mostly pride.”

Dempsey sighed. “It’s October 21st. We have ten days left. God help us all.”