The Yard-Sign Removal Deadline Enforcement Unit began its annual post-election sweep at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday, issuing 900 citations before sunrise in what Chief of Coroplast Compliance Ron Pruitt called “the most productive six hours in the history of municipal nagging.”
Under Ordinance 24-071, all campaign yard signs were required to be removed within 24 hours of polls closing. By 6:15 a.m., the unit’s twelve two-person teams had documented 900 violations, ranging from a single forgotten sign leaning against a recycling bin to what Pruitt described as “a full archaeological dig site” — a front lawn in the Oakdale district where signs from four consecutive election cycles had fused into a single laminated monument.
“One sign had been stapled to a maple tree since 2019,” said Pruitt, holding up a faded placard for a candidate nobody on the unit could identify. “The tree had literally grown around the staple. We cited the homeowner, the tree, and, frankly, ourselves for not catching it sooner.”
Violators face a $25 fine per sign, payable within 30 days, or 4 hours of community service removing other people’s signs, a punishment Pruitt called “poetic, efficient, and deeply unpopular.” Repeat offenders — defined as anyone cited in two or more election cycles — are required to attend the unit’s two-hour seminar, “Signs You Should Have Taken Down: A Reflective Workshop,” which includes a slideshow of particularly egregious violations set to somber piano music.
The unit also operates a sign amnesty dumpster behind the county fairgrounds, where residents may dispose of signs anonymously, no questions asked. “Last year someone dropped off 400 signs at 3 a.m.,” said field supervisor Dana Whitfield. “We don’t know who. We don’t want to know. The dumpster is a judgment-free zone.”
Not all residents are cooperating. One homeowner on Chestnut Street has barricaded his remaining signs behind a ring of lawn flamingos, which he claims are “emotional support decorations” and therefore exempt. The unit’s legal counsel is reviewing the flamingo defense. “It’s novel,” Pruitt conceded. “It’s wrong. But it’s novel.”
The reflective workshop’s slideshow — 47 slides of violations set to a somber piano rendition of “Yard Sign Blues,” a song Pruitt wrote himself — has become unexpectedly popular. “People come for the citation and stay for the music,” said instructor Dana Whitfield. Meanwhile, the unit confirmed that last year’s 2,100 pounds of collected signs were recycled into 60 park benches, each stamped with the words “I USED TO BE A SIGN.” Pruitt called the benches “the circle of civic life.”
By noon, the unit had collected 2,300 pounds of corrugated plastic, enough, Pruitt noted, “to build a scale model of City Hall, which we are absolutely not doing, because last time someone suggested it we lost a whole weekend.”
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