Town Meeting Microphone Feedback Dispute Resolved With Mute Button, Ceremonial Gavel Tap

MAPLE COUNTY — The town meeting microphone feedback dispute is over. The council voted 5-0 Tuesday to resolve the issue with a mute button, a ceremonial gavel tap, and a new rule: speakers get three minutes, the microphone gets one warning squeal, and then it gets muted, no exceptions, not even for Ethel Marsh.

The feedback problem had plagued meetings for months — a high-pitched squeal that erupted whenever speakers leaned too close to the microphone, cupped it like a lounge singer, or, in one memorable instance, tapped it to check if it was on, which it was, painfully. Audio volunteer Ken Dabrowski, who runs the sound board from a card table in the back, described the squeal as the sound of democracy crying.

The old system relied on Dabrowski’s reflexes and a hand-lettered sign reading PLEASE DO NOT TAP THE MIC, which speakers read, nodded at, and then tapped. The new system adds a compressor/limiter — a device Dabrowski called a miracle and the budget office called $180 — plus the official mute protocol, which the council adopted after Dabrowski demonstrated it on a willing council member.

The three-minute rule comes with a visual aid: a green-yellow-red timing light, purchased from a game show supply company, which glows green for two minutes, yellow for 30 seconds, and red for the final 30, at which point the microphone politely dies. The light has already become a local celebrity; residents time their applause to it, and one speaker finished his sentence exactly as the light turned red, earning a standing ovation.

Ethel Marsh, 81, holder of seat 14 and 214 consecutive meetings, tested the system at Tuesday’s session, speaking for exactly three minutes on the subject of the seating chart, which she supports. When the light turned red, she concluded mid-sentence with the words and that is all, which the minutes record as a model adjournment.

The council also addressed microphone hygiene, a topic Dabrowski raised with visible reluctance: foam windscreens will be replaced monthly, speakers are asked not to eat near the mic (a rule aimed at one specific muffin incident), and the ceremonial gavel tap that opens each meeting will henceforth be performed away from the microphone, a lesson learned at considerable volume.

Public comment on the new system has been positive. Attendance is up, meetings end on time, and Dabrowski reports his stress dreams — in which the squeal follows him home — have decreased by half. He still keeps the old PLEASE DO NOT TAP sign, framed, above the sound board, as what he calls a memorial to a simpler, squealier time.

The next town meeting is Thursday. The microphone will be on, the light will be green, and the gavel — tapped at a safe distance — will call the town to order, feedback-free, at 7 p.m. sharp.