World Oddities
Florida Man Demands Refund After Heat Index Fails to Include Emotional Damage
The complaint says “feels like 112” does not adequately describe the betrayal.
Author
Matthew Murphy
Full bio at matthewxmurphy.com
Articles by Matthew Murphy
Technology
Smart Refrigerator Locks Family Out After Detecting Unauthorized Midnight Cheese
The appliance cited suspicious activity near the cheddar drawer.
World Oddities
County Meeting Ends Early After Microphone Develops Better Ideas
Officials voted 6–1 to let the microphone finish its remarks.
Business
Office Promotes Printer After It Successfully Completes One Job Without Assistance
The printer will now supervise three interns and the copier.
National
Nation Agrees to Pretend Group Chat Notification Never Happened
The bipartisan silence lasted nearly four minutes.
World Oddities
City Replaces Fireworks With One Extremely Confident Man Shouting “Boom”
The change reduced costs but generated mixed reviews from dogs.
World Oddities
Gym Reports January Crowd Has Reserved Every Treadmill for February
Management expects availability to return suddenly around January 12.
World Oddities
Mall Santa Requests Witness Protection After Recognizing Too Many Parents
The holiday professional says he knows who returned gifts before breakfast.
World Oddities
Federal Mediator Called After Thanksgiving Gravy Dispute Enters Third Hour
Negotiators established a neutral mashed-potato zone between both sides.
World Oddities
Neighborhood Declares Independence From HOA for Eleven Minutes
The rebellion ended when residents learned the pool key would stop working.