SmirkWire

Breaking-ishMuseum Confirms Ancient Vase Was Actually Office Coffee Mug Nobody Wanted to Wash Breaking-ishFlorida Man Demands Refund After Heat Index Fails to Include Emotional Damage Breaking-ishSmart Refrigerator Locks Family Out After Detecting Unauthorized Midnight Cheese Breaking-ishCounty Meeting Ends Early After Microphone Develops Better Ideas Breaking-ishOffice Promotes Printer After It Successfully Completes One Job Without Assistance Breaking-ishNation Agrees to Pretend Group Chat Notification Never Happened Breaking-ishCity Replaces Fireworks With One Extremely Confident Man Shouting “Boom” Breaking-ishGym Reports January Crowd Has Reserved Every Treadmill for February Breaking-ishMuseum Confirms Ancient Vase Was Actually Office Coffee Mug Nobody Wanted to Wash Breaking-ishFlorida Man Demands Refund After Heat Index Fails to Include Emotional Damage Breaking-ishSmart Refrigerator Locks Family Out After Detecting Unauthorized Midnight Cheese Breaking-ishCounty Meeting Ends Early After Microphone Develops Better Ideas Breaking-ishOffice Promotes Printer After It Successfully Completes One Job Without Assistance Breaking-ishNation Agrees to Pretend Group Chat Notification Never Happened Breaking-ishCity Replaces Fireworks With One Extremely Confident Man Shouting “Boom” Breaking-ishGym Reports January Crowd Has Reserved Every Treadmill for February

A neighborhood HOA declares independence from the United States

World Oddities

Neighborhood Declares Independence From HOA for Eleven Minutes

The rebellion ended when residents learned the pool key would stop working.

Fictional Florida man disputing a 112-degree heat index at a weather service counter

World Oddities

Florida Man Demands Refund After Heat Index Fails to Include Emotional Damage

Family locked out of a smart refrigerator after unauthorized midnight cheese activity

Technology

Smart Refrigerator Locks Family Out After Detecting Unauthorized Midnight Cheese

Latest Dispatches

Mall Santa escorted through a service corridor by security agents

World Oddities

Mall Santa Requests Witness Protection After Recognizing Too Many Parents

The holiday professional says he knows who returned gifts before breakfast.

A mediator separates relatives arguing over a Thanksgiving gravy boat

World Oddities

Federal Mediator Called After Thanksgiving Gravy Dispute Enters Third Hour

A neighborhood HOA declares independence from the United States

World Oddities

Neighborhood Declares Independence From HOA for Eleven Minutes

Police booking photograph from a corn dog identification dispute

World Oddities

Woman Arrested After Presenting Corn Dog as Identification

An exhausted town clerk beside an overflowing New Year resolution drop box

World Oddities

Town Installs New Year’s Resolution Drop Box, Immediately Files for Overtime

In Other News

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