Area Man Declares Himself Basically a Meteorologist After Checking Weather App Twice

LOCAL — Declaring that he has “basically seen the models,” area man Gary Pruitt announced Thursday that he is now qualified to dispute the evening forecast, having checked his weather app twice and looked out the window once.

“The app says forty percent chance of rain, but my knee says otherwise, and frankly my knee has the better track record,” Pruitt told neighbors, gesturing at a sky he described as “suspicious.” He then issued his own advisory, which covered a three-block radius and expired whenever he went back inside.

At press time, Pruitt was revising his forecast after stepping outside, looking up, and conceding that the app “might have had a point this time.”