City Declares October 31 an Official ‘No Homework Night’ After 400-Signature Parent Petition

ELMWOOD — The Elmwood City Council voted 7-0 Tuesday to declare October 31 an official “No Homework Night,” after a parent petition bearing 400 signatures argued that assigning homework on Halloween is “cruel, unusual, and frankly unrealistic.”

The petition, organized by the Parent-Teacher Spook Association, included testimonials from 400 families, 12 teachers (“speaking anonymously, obviously”), and one (1) school principal who signed “in invisible ink, but it counts.”

“My daughter has a spelling test on November 1st,” said petition organizer Karen Delgado, addressing the council while wearing a witch hat she described as “professional attire for the occasion.” “She will be up until midnight sorting candy by chocolate-to-fruit ratio. She will not be studying spelling. Nobody’s child is studying spelling on Halloween night. Let’s stop pretending.”

The resolution — Resolution 2026-118, “An Act of Mercy” — prohibits teachers from assigning homework due November 1, scheduling tests for November 1, or “assigning meaningful glares” to students who arrive November 1 “visibly sugared.”

Teachers’ reactions were mixed. “I support it,” said one middle-school teacher, requesting anonymity. “Last year I assigned a worksheet on Halloween. Three students turned it in. One of them drew a pumpkin on it instead of doing the math. Honestly? The pumpkin was better than the math.”

Not all educators are pleased. Retired teacher and self-described “homework traditionalist” Harold Finch called the resolution “the beginning of the end.” “First Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then — what’s next, no homework on Fridays? Oh. There already isn’t. Fine. But this is how it starts.”

The council also approved a companion measure: November 1 is now “Gentle Start Day,” with classes beginning 30 minutes late “to accommodate candy comas.”

“This is good governance,” said Councilwoman Priya Natarajan. “We looked at the data — zero percent homework completion on Halloween night — and we acted. This is what government is for.”

Students, informed of the news, reacted with what witnesses described as “the loudest cheer in Elmwood history, followed immediately by asking what’s for dinner.”