Election Office Holiday Decorations Policy Limits Tinsel to One Strand Per Cubicle

MAPLE COUNTY — The elections office has issued its holiday decorations policy for the season, and the headline provision is tinsel restraint: one strand per cubicle, to be hung with what the policy calls tasteful moderation and removed by January 6th.

The policy, drafted by office manager Janet Kwon after last year’s Great Tinsel Avalanche — in which the break room’s ceiling-mounted decorations collapsed onto the absentee ballot sorting table — runs to six pages and covers tinsel, garlands, string lights, inflatable figures, and what it terms excessive cinnamon scent.

The tinsel limit was the most debated provision. Facilities staff proposed two strands; the fire marshal’s office suggested zero; Kwon split the difference at one, calling it the Goldilocks of garland. Each strand may not exceed nine feet, may not touch any ballot-handling equipment, and must be secured with removable hooks, not staples, a rule added after the 2023 staple incident, which Kwon declined to discuss.

String lights are permitted but must be LED (fire code), must be unplugged nightly (insurance), and may not blink, pulse, or chase, a provision aimed squarely at the IT department’s 2024 display, which one elections judge described as a rave in a server closet. The IT department has filed a formal objection consisting of a single blinking light left on Kwon’s desk.

Inflatable figures are banned outright, a decision Kwon called easy after last year’s eight-foot snowman blocked the public observation window for three days. Desk-sized figurines are allowed, up to three per desk, though Kwon noted that anyone needing more than three snowmen should, in her words, examine their priorities.

The policy includes a carve-out for the office’s beloved traditions: the break room tree (artificial, four feet, pre-lit), the annual ornament exchange (limit $10, no gag gifts after the 2022 whoopee cushion affair), and the holiday potluck, which is governed separately by the Election Night Potluck Committee’s menu guidelines and its standing deviled egg ban.

Staff reaction has been largely positive. The tinsel enthusiasts have accepted the single strand with grace, the minimalists are quietly pleased, and the IT department’s blinking light has been relocated to the server room, where it blinks unsupervised. Kwon calls the policy a triumph of compromise, noting that nobody got everything they wanted, which is the definition of a successful office policy.

Decorating may begin December 1st. Inspection is December 5th. Violations will be handled through what the policy calls festive counseling, a phrase Kwon invented and the staff has already adopted with enthusiasm.