Hand-Recount Committee Equipped With Magnifying Glasses, Headlamps, and ‘Unshakeable Optimism’

HILLCREST — The county’s hand-recount committee reported for duty Wednesday equipped with magnifying glasses, LED headlamps, ergonomic tweezers, and what chairwoman Dot Ellery called “unshakeable optimism and a concerning amount of coffee.”

The committee of twelve will manually recount 8,412 ballots in the town sandwich referendum, where the Reuben leads the BLT by 41 votes — a margin Ellery described as “thinner than the rye in question.”

“Each ballot is examined by two readers and one verifier,” Ellery explained. Her official title is High Chancellor of the Magnifying Glass. “The verifier’s job is to stand behind the readers and nod. It’s a very important job. Brenda takes it very seriously.”

Brenda Puckett, the verifier in question and the county’s self-appointed Director of Festive Morale, confirmed she had been practicing her nod for three weeks. “There’s the confirm nod, the concerned nod, and the ‘let’s take a break’ nod,” Puckett said, demonstrating all three. “The public doesn’t appreciate the range.”

Recount rules prohibit food near the ballots, a provision that has caused what Ellery called “low-grade suffering.” “We’re recounting a sandwich election and we can’t eat,” she said. “The irony is not lost on us. The hunger is also not lost on us.”

The committee works in 90-minute shifts under lighting Ellery described as “surgical.” “By hour six, every ballot looks like it’s winking at you,” said reader Sam Okafor. “You have to stay strong. The winking is a lie.”

Brenda’s nods underwent a formal “nod audit” Wednesday after one nod was flagged by a reader as “insufficiently decisive.” A review panel of three determined the nod in question was “a thinking nod, not a confirming nod,” and issued revised nod guidelines: two pumps for confirmation, one slow tilt for concern. “I stand by my range,” Puckett said. “But I respect the process. The process is nodding. I was born for the process.”

The committee’s coffee fund — $86 in a jar labeled “Democracy Fuel” — was briefly investigated after someone donated a $50 bill “with suspicious enthusiasm.” The bill was genuine. The enthusiasm, Ellery ruled, “was just the recount talking. We’ve all been there. Hour nine does things to a person.”

Ellery’s team has been invited to recount a neighboring county’s pie contest vote — “a dispute over lattice versus crumble.” “We’re honored,” she said. “Though frankly, after the sandwich referendum, pie feels like a vacation.”

Results are expected Friday. “Whatever the outcome,” Ellery said, “we will have looked at democracy very, very closely. Closer than anyone ever has. Closer than democracy probably wanted.”