SOUTHPORT — The local access channel’s election-night returns broadcast was preempted Tuesday by the Regional Bowling Tournament semifinals, forcing candidates and voters alike to learn results, in the words of one campaign manager, “like everyone else: from Brenda.”
Brenda Puckett — the county’s self-appointed Director of Festive Morale — became the de facto election broadcaster, relaying results from the tabulation room to a crowd of 200 via what she called “the Brenda Network: me, yelling, accurately.”
“The bowling tournament ran long. What was I supposed to do, let democracy wait for the tenth frame?” said station manager Carl Dodd. “We had contractual obligations. The bowlers had momentum. You don’t interrupt momentum. It’s in the bylaws.”
The preemption affected all six local races, the sandwich referendum, and the town bird measure. The station aired a scrolling ticker during bowling — “results at brenda” was the full text of the ticker, per viewers, who described it as “minimalist” and “technically informative.”
Puckett’s broadcast operation was, by all accounts, formidable. Stationed at the tabulation room door with a megaphone, a whiteboard, and what she called “a gift for dramatic pauses,” she announced each result to “thunderous applause and one marriage proposal,” which she declined “due to the lateness of the hour and the sacredness of the count.”
“She did the sandwich referendum like it was the moon landing,” said voter Tom Becker, 44. “‘The Reuben… (pause)… leads by forty-one.’ I wept. I don’t even like the Reuben.”
Dodd has promised the station will air a full results recap “once the bowling concludes, whenever that is — those semifinals are intense.” In the meantime, he confirmed the station is “in talks” with Puckett about a recurring segment. “We’re thinking ‘Brenda’s Civic Minute.’ Sixty seconds. Megaphone optional but encouraged.”
Puckett’s “Brenda’s Civic Minute” pilot aired Friday — sixty seconds, megaphone deployed at the forty-two-second mark. Ratings, per Dodd, were “the highest in station history, and we once aired a cat stuck in a tree for six hours.” Episode two is in production.
The bowling tournament concluded Sunday — “a thrilling final frame,” per Dodd — and the station aired its results recap to “dozens” of viewers. Puckett’s segment has been renewed for a full season. “Thirteen episodes,” Dodd said. “Maybe more. The people need Brenda.”
Puckett, for her part, is ready. “I’ve been training for this my whole life,” she said. “Every group chat I’ve ever run was preparation. Democracy doesn’t need a broadcast tower. It needs a Brenda.”
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