Provisional Ballot Conveyor Belt Technician Saves Election With Paperclip, Duct Tape, and ‘Vibes’

GREENFIELD — The county’s provisional ballot conveyor belt — a 40-foot system installed in 2003 and described by staff as “vintage, in the way a haunted house is vintage” — was saved from total failure Tuesday by technician Sam Okafor, using a paperclip, duct tape, and what he called “vibes.”

“The belt started making a noise like a goose with a secret,” said Okafor, whose official title is Deputy Director of Moving Things That Should Move. “Then it stopped moving things. In my line of work, that’s what we call ‘a situation.'”

Provisional ballots — cast by voters whose eligibility requires verification — travel the belt from the intake table to the verification station, a journey of approximately 90 seconds that Okafor calls “the ballot’s little parade.”

With 214 provisional ballots queued and the belt seized, Okafor deployed what he described as “the holy trinity of field repair.” The paperclip realigned a derailed roller. The duct tape secured a fraying belt seam. The vibes, he said, “were more of a general atmosphere of confidence I projected at the machine.”

“People underestimate vibes,” Okafor said. “The machine knows when you’re scared. I was not scared. I was paperclipping with purpose.”

Supervisor Kenji Tanaka confirmed the repair held for the remaining nine hours of counting. “Sam’s fix outlasted the manufacturer’s warranty, the service contract, and, frankly, my expectations,” Tanaka said. “We have ordered a replacement belt. It arrives in March. Until then, we have Sam, the paperclip — which is now framed — and the vibes.”

The county’s maintenance log now lists the belt’s status as “operational (vibes-assisted),” a classification Tanaka said “is not in the manual, but the manual was written by optimists who never met this belt.”

Okafor’s framed paperclip has been joined by the duct tape strip, mounted beside it under the title “The Trinity, Minus Vibes (Vibes Cannot Be Framed).” Visitors now request selfies with it. “It’s the most photographed paperclip in the county,” Tanaka said. “Possibly the state.”

The replacement belt arrived early — in February, not March — and was installed without incident. “No goose noises,” Okafor confirmed. The old belt was retired to the break room wall, “where it belongs, as a warning and an inspiration.”

Okafor, asked for his secret, tapped the framed paperclip. “Respect the machine,” he said. “Fear the goose noise. And always — always — carry duct tape. The vibes you have to bring yourself.”