A formal complaint has been filed with the Henderson household by Biscuit, a 6-year-old golden retriever, regarding the serving of his 5 p.m. dinner at 4 p.m. following the family’s ‘unauthorized observance’ of the November 1 fall-back.
The complaint, dictated to household scribe and 9-year-old Emma Henderson, reads in part: ‘I, Biscuit, a good boy, do hereby protest the temporal displacement of my evening meal. My stomach does not recognize your legislation.’
‘He stood by the bowl at 4 p.m. and just stared at us,’ said Emma’s mother, Rachel Henderson. ‘Then he stared at the clock. Then back at the bowl. It was the most articulate argument anyone in this house has made all year.’
The Hendersons attempted to explain daylight saving time to Biscuit using a diagram involving the Earth’s tilt and a flashlight. Biscuit reportedly ‘ate the diagram.’
Animal behaviorist Dr. Paula Rennick confirmed that dogs ‘do not care about your clocks’ and advised the family to ‘feed the dog when the dog says it’s dinner, which is always, immediately, forever.’
As of press time, the household had reached a settlement: Biscuit will receive dinner at 4 p.m. and a ‘supplemental grievance snack’ at 5 p.m. ‘He negotiated well,’ Rachel Henderson admitted. ‘Honestly, he should be on the Sleep-Schedule Arbitration Board.’
Join the conversation
Load Facebook comments to read and reply using your Facebook account.