FRIDLEY, Minn. — The Municipal Black Friday Encampment Bureau opened its annual campout permit applications at 8:00 a.m. Monday, and by 8:04 a.m. the line outside the big-box district already stretched 400 tents, three RVs, and one man in a lawn chair who insisted he was “just resting.”
The Bureau, which regulates overnight queuing for the year’s biggest shopping day, requires every camper to hold a valid Tent Permit (Form BF-1), a Fire Pit Variance (Form BF-2, if applicable), and a signed affidavit acknowledging that “no television is worth frostbite,” a clause added after the winter of 2022.
“We used to process these in person over coffee,” said Bureau Director Sheila Vance, 57, surveying the tent city from the roof of the permit office. “Now we have a lottery, a waitlist, and a man who has been here since September camping for the right to camp. The recursion is honestly impressive.”
The man in question, 34-year-old Dale Krenz, has occupied Tent Zero — the first position in line — since September 14, a full ten weeks before Black Friday. Krenz, who works remotely from a folding table and a portable hotspot, described his strategy as “temporal arbitrage.” He has already been interviewed by two news crews, a podcast, and a documentary filmmaker who, Krenz said, “cried a little.”
Permit fees this year are $25 per tent, up from $20, a hike Vance attributed to “increased demand for portable toilet servicing and the incident with the inflatable mattress.” The Bureau declined to elaborate on the incident, though minutes from a closed session reference “a mattress, a generator, and poor decisions.”
New for 2026: the Bureau has introduced a “quiet hours” ordinance (10 p.m. to 6 a.m.), a ban on personal drones over the line (“the 2024 drone incident”), and a buddy system requiring campers to check on their neighbors every four hours. “It’s basically a very cold, very consumerist summer camp,” Vance said.
The Bureau has also partnered with the local library to deliver books to the line, and with a food truck association to keep campers fed. “Last year someone tried to DoorDash to Tent 212,” Vance said. “The driver just moved into Tent 213. He’s still there.”
Applications remain open through November 20, though Vance warned that “at the current rate, we’ll be issuing permits for the parking lot across the street by Halloween.” Krenz, from Tent Zero, had no comment. He was asleep.
Join the conversation
Load Facebook comments to read and reply using your Facebook account.