Haunted Hayride Safety Inspection Finds the Hayride Is Haunted, Hayride Cancelled

LAKESIDE — The town’s annual Haunted Hayride has been cancelled after a routine safety inspection concluded that the hayride was, in fact, genuinely haunted.

Inspector Ray Delgado, 58, a 22-year veteran of the Parks Department, filed the report Tuesday morning. Under “Findings,” he wrote a single sentence: “The ghosts are real and they are not following the script.”

According to the report, the hayride’s hired actors reported that an unidentified figure in 19th-century farming attire kept appearing in the cornfield scenes, improvising dialogue, and — most concerning — “actually knowing things about the audience.”

“He told a woman from Elm Street the exact date her water heater was installed,” Delgado said. “Our actors are good, but they are not that good.”

A History of the Unexplained

The hayride route passes the old Whitaker barn, where local legend says a farmer named Silas once got so lost in his own corn maze that he simply stayed. Longtime residents note that every October, someone reports seeing a lantern moving through the stalks.

“We always assumed it was teenagers,” said festival organizer Diane Flack, 47. “It turns out it was Silas. We owe several teenagers an apology.”

Efforts to interview the apparition were unsuccessful, though he did leave a five-star review of the hayride on the town’s community board, written in what experts describe as “beautiful cursive.”

What Comes Next

The council voted to replace the hayride with a “Haunted Hayride Viewing Party,” in which residents will sit in lawn chairs at a safe distance and watch the empty wagons roll past on their own.

“The wagons have been rolling past on their own since Tuesday,” Delgado noted. “We just made it official.”

Councilmember Doris Tran called it “the most successful event we’ve ever cancelled,” and confirmed that Silas has been invited to serve as honorary chair of next year’s festival, provided he RSVPs.

“We’re still waiting to hear back,” Tran said. “But the lantern was seen near the mailbox, so we’re optimistic.”