Circadian Rhythm Compliance Inspectors issued their first citation of the fall-back season Tuesday, fining the parents of 6-year-old Tommy Wexler $25 for what the citation describes as ‘unauthorized grogginess exhibited at 6:40 p.m., a full 80 minutes before the approved bedtime window.’
‘The child was observed yawning in a public place — the produce aisle — during a routine inspection,’ said Inspector Dale Hargrove, reading from Form CR-9. ‘Yawning after the time change is a regulated activity. There are forms.’
The Wexlers plan to contest the fine. ‘He’s six,’ said Tommy’s mother, Karen Wexler. ‘He yawns. He yawns at breakfast. He yawns at the concept of breakfast.’
Inspector Hargrove was unsympathetic. ‘Fall-back disrupts everyone’s internal clock. That’s precisely why compliance matters. If we let one six-year-old yawn unregulated, next thing you know the whole produce aisle is groggy, and then where are we? I’ll tell you where: March.’
The Circadian Rhythm Compliance Office, established last year after the spring-forward caused what officials called ‘a citywide incident of collective jet lag,’ employs 11 inspectors armed with flashlights, clipboards, and a laminated chart of ‘approved drowsiness levels by hour.’
Tommy Wexler, reached for comment, yawned. His parents have been cited an additional $10 for the interview.
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