Leaf-Blower Noise Ordinance Now Enforced by Retired Librarians With Decibel Meters

RIVERSIDE — The city’s new leaf-blower noise ordinance is now being enforced by a volunteer corps of 34 retired librarians armed with decibel meters, whistles, and what officials describe as “a lifetime of experience shushing people.”

“We considered police officers, but officers have other duties,” explained City Noise Coordinator Alan Briggs, whose official title is Deputy Director of Auditory Civility. “Librarians, on the other hand, have spent decades perfecting the art of the meaningful glare. Our pilot program showed a 90 percent compliance rate within four seconds of eye contact.”

The ordinance, which took effect Monday, prohibits gas-powered leaf blowers before 9 a.m. and after 6 p.m., and caps all blower operation at 65 decibels — roughly the volume of a normal conversation, or, as the ordinance poetically states, “one (1) librarian clearing her throat.”

Leading the enforcement effort is Margaret Holloway, 71, who spent 38 years as head librarian at the Riverside Public Library and now serves as Chief of the newly formed Quiet Patrol. “In my day, we didn’t need decibel meters,” Holloway said, polishing her badge, which reads SHHH in official block letters. “We had ears. But the city insisted on the meters, so now I carry one. It beeps. I find the beeping itself somewhat loud, but that’s neither here nor there.”

The Quiet Patrol operates in pairs, patrolling residential streets in a repurposed bookmobile now emblazoned with the slogan “SILENCE IS GOLDEN. LEAVES ARE TEMPORARY.” Violators receive a three-tier response: a warning glance, a formal shush, and finally a written citation carrying a $50 fine.

“The whistle is a last resort,” said patrol volunteer Doris Kaminski, 68. “Margaret says whistles are for gym teachers. But last Tuesday a man on Chestnut Street blew leaves for 47 uninterrupted minutes at 7:15 in the morning. I blew the whistle. I have no regrets. He now owns a rake. Growth is possible.”

Landscaping companies have pushed back, arguing the ordinance is unenforceable and, in the words of one company owner, “a war on autumn itself.” Briggs dismissed the criticism. “Nobody is banning leaves. We’re simply asking that leaves be relocated at a reasonable volume. The librarians are not the enemy. The enemy is 7 a.m.”

The city has also launched a voluntary “Blower Buyback” program, offering residents $25 gift cards to the public library bookstore in exchange for gas-powered blowers. “We received 200 blowers in the first week,” Briggs said proudly. “We’re building a sculpture out of them. It’s called ‘Shhh.'”

Holloway, for her part, says the work is the most fulfilling of her life. “Thirty-eight years I told children to be quiet,” she said, gazing down a suspiciously tidy street. “Now I tell grown men. It’s the same job. The men are just taller.”