Municipal Squirrel Liaison Relocates 300-Pound Acorn Hoard Found Inside Town Hall Chimney

NUTHATCH — The town’s Municipal Squirrel Liaison completed a three-day operation Friday, relocating a 300-pound acorn hoard discovered inside the Town Hall chimney, where a single gray squirrel — dubbed “Big Depositor” by staff — had been stockpiling since August.

The hoard was found when the building’s furnace technician reported “a sound like rain, but upward” and discovered the flue packed solid with acorns to a depth of four feet. Liaison officer Wendy Krupp, the town’s first and only squirrel liaison, described the cache as “the most ambitious single-squirrel infrastructure project I’ve documented in six years,” estimating 22,000 individual acorns.

“We do not punish the squirrel. The squirrel was planning for winter with exceptional diligence,” Krupp said. Following protocol, the acorns were relocated to three “designated scatter sites” in the town green, and Big Depositor was released on-site with what Krupp called “a stern but respectful briefing.” The squirrel, she reported, “listened, or appeared to.”

The liaison office, created in 2019 after a squirrel-related power outage, now handles 40 to 60 squirrel matters a year, from attic incursions to “bird-feeder disputes of a territorial nature.” Krupp’s annual report, “State of the Squirrel,” runs 60 pages and is, by her account, “read cover to cover by at least four people.”

Town Hall has installed a chimney cap, which Krupp called “a necessary boundary in a healthy human-squirrel relationship.” Big Depositor has reportedly begun a new cache in the library’s gutter system. “We’re monitoring it,” Krupp said. “The library gutter is, technically, outside my jurisdiction, which is convenient for everyone except the library.”

Krupp’s annual “State of the Squirrel” report — 60 pages, four confirmed readers — covers population estimates, notable hoards, and a section titled “Incidents of Unusual Boldness,” which this year includes a squirrel that learned to open a trash can lid, one that “stood its ground against a leaf blower,” and Big Depositor’s chimney project, classified as “Infrastructure, Ambitious.” The town council receives the report each March; Krupp says one councilman “definitely reads the boldness section.”

The library gutter stakeout continues, with Krupp conducting twice-weekly checks “from a respectful distance, with binoculars, like a very niche detective.” The librarian has been briefed and, Krupp reported, “is taking it well, though she has started closing the blinds.” Big Depositor, meanwhile, was spotted last week carrying an acorn “of significant size” toward the town green’s designated scatter site — “using the infrastructure we provided,” Krupp said proudly. “That’s the dream. That’s the whole job.”