Napkin Ring Allocation Authority Holds Emergency Session on Plastic Rings

CHARLESTON, S.C. — The Table Setting Standards Agency convened an emergency session Friday to address what its director called “the plastic ring crisis” — a surge in disposable napkin rings threatening the sanctity of the holiday table.

The Agency’s Napkin Ring Allocation Authority, a five-member body that has regulated ring distribution since 2004, issues annual guidance on ring materials, sizing, and what it terms “ring dignity.” This year’s guidance was expected to be routine. Then the plastic rings arrived.

“They came in a bag of 200 from a warehouse store,” said Authority Chair Eleanor Voss, 61, holding up a plastic ring the color of what she described as “disappointed gold.” “Two hundred rings. For $8.99. Do you know what that does to the ring economy? It collapses it. It makes a mockery of every silver ring that has been polished since 1974.”

The Authority’s standards recognize four tiers of napkin rings: heirloom (silver, engraved, “with a story”), quality (wood, ceramic, or metal, “with intent”), acceptable (cloth ties, ribbon, “effort was made”), and plastic (“a cry for help, but we understand times are tough”).

Friday’s emergency session considered banning plastic rings outright, but the measure failed 3-2 after impassioned testimony from working parents. “I have fourteen people coming and a full-time job,” said witness Karen Doyle, 43. “My rings are plastic. My turkey is real. My love is real. The rings are plastic. I am at peace with this.”

Moved by the testimony, the Authority instead created a new sub-tier: “plastic, but make it festive,” which permits plastic rings provided they are “not the flimsy kind” and the host “does not apologize for them more than once.”

“One apology is gracious,” Voss explained. “Two apologies is insecurity. Three apologies and your guests start wondering what else you’re hiding. Serve the meal. Hold your head high. The rings are round, and round is enough.”

The Authority also standardized napkin folding for the season, approving the classic rectangle, the bishop’s hat (“for the ambitious”), and the simple drape (“for the honest”). The swan fold was rejected for the third consecutive year, with Voss noting that “nobody has successfully made a napkin swan since 1987, and the attempts are upsetting the children.”

The full guidance, “Rings of Power: A Host’s Guide,” ships to subscribers November 1.

The Authority maintains a national registry of heirloom rings, currently listing 12,000 sets, the oldest dating to 1891. “Each ring has a story,” Voss said, displaying a silver ring engraved with three generations of initials. “This one has survived two moves, one divorce, and a toddler. Plastic rings are fine for Tuesday. But Thanksgiving deserves a ring with a past.” New this year: the registry accepts digital photos, “because some stories are too precious to mail.”