Town Council Votes to Observe Fall-Back ‘Ironically’ This Year

The Town Council voted 5-2 Tuesday to observe this year’s November 1 fall-back ‘ironically,’ becoming the first municipality in the state to adopt what Councilwoman Diane Pratt called ‘a posture of detached amusement toward the time change.’

‘We’re still changing the clocks,’ Pratt clarified. ‘We’re just doing it with an eye-roll. It’s the same hour, but we’re above it now.’

The ironic observance includes changing all municipal clocks ‘with visible reluctance,’ issuing the annual fall-back proclamation ‘in air quotes,’ and replacing the traditional ‘Temporal Regret Hotline’ greeting with ‘Yeah, the clocks changed. Whatever.’

Councilman Frank Gilley, who voted no, called the measure ‘a dereliction of temporal duty.’ ‘You can’t observe a time change ironically,’ Gilley said. ‘Time doesn’t care about your irony. Time is sincere. Time is the most sincere thing there is.’

Youth outreach coordinator Emma Henderson, 9, praised the vote. ‘Finally, the government gets it,’ she said. ‘My dog filed a complaint about the time change and even he wasn’t ironic about it. He was sincere. Be like Biscuit.’

The council will revisit the policy in March, when it plans to observe the spring-forward ‘earnestly, but with resentment,’ according to the official minutes.