VCR Owners Rejoice as Annual One-Hour Reset Finally Validates Life Choices

For the nation’s remaining VCR owners, the November 1 fall-back is not a chore but a vindication, as the annual clock reset represents the one day a year their decision to ‘never throw anything away’ is universally celebrated.

‘People laughed when I kept the VCR,’ said collector Dale Kramden, 58, standing before a wall of 14 blinking VCRs, each displaying a different time. ‘Who’s laughing now? It’s fall-back week. I am the time lord of this cul-de-sac.’

Kramden hosts an annual ‘Fall-Back Eve’ party, where guests gather to watch him reset all 14 VCRs, a ceremony that takes approximately four hours and involves what he calls ‘the sacred remote,’ a universal remote held together with electrical tape and prayer.

‘Each VCR has its own personality,’ Kramden explained, gesturing to a 1993 model that has displayed 12:00 since the Bush administration. ‘This one is Gerald. Gerald doesn’t do time. Gerald does vibes.’

The VCR Preservation Society, a group of 200 enthusiasts nationwide, has declared the fall-back weekend a ‘holy period,’ during which members are encouraged to rewind any tapes they find and ‘be kind to the tracking.’

Kramden’s wife, Susan, was unavailable for comment, as she was in the garage, ‘where the good TV is.’